How to be a powerful connector without feeling used

How to be a powerful connector without feeling usedHow to be a powerful connector without feeling usedRecently, a Bossed Up podcast listener called in with a career conundrum all about how to provide advice and encouragement to budding professionals without feeling used and burned when her prospective proteges up and ghost herDont get me wrong I want all of us to lift as we climb and support one another. But Bossed Up women including those of us who find ourselves in the position of supervision and counseling others along the way must set clear boundaries for how we give back.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreSet boundaries for giving backOne thing to consider is to set limits on how many of these meetings youll take. Perhaps you can justify mentorship meetings once a month or once a week.Whatever you make space for, send the folks who ask for your counsel aCalendlylink thats se t up to just allow them to book time on your schedule during those limited hours. That way, you know youre making yourself available to give back, but also can protect your time, too.Ask more of the person whos asking for helpSecond, its perfectly fine to ask more of the folks you choose to mentor. When I meet with people like this, Im promising them a certain amount of my focused time. The follow-up game is really up to them to pursue.During our initial meeting Ill typically drop a few names of people who Id bewillingto connect them with. I tellthemto first do their due diligence and look those folks up before I introduce them, so they can be sure that yes, that is someone theyd be interested in being connected with. Otherwise, we run the risk of connecting people before theyre sure its what they really need and want.From there, I always ask the folks I mentor to send me a quick introductory paragraph I should use when introducing them. This allows them to ensure that Im introducin g them by highlighting whats most important for their purposes, and it saves me the time, energy, and effort of writing up my own little explanation of who they are and why theyd like to connect.At the end of my mentorship meetings, I tell them Ill respond to their email when they send me those two things a list of the folks theyve vetted to make sure they want to be introduced toandthe blurb I should use when making the connection.Opt for the double opt-inFinally, its always best to opt for the double opt-in before introducing someone. By that I mean, email your contactfirstto get their permission to be connected. In the spirit of ensuring that none of us feel used while supporting other professionals on the rise, this is key before you CC everyone together, get permission to connect folks first.Ive written in the pastabout how I used to jump the gun and make this networking mistake. But it can earn you a reputation for taking your connections for granted, so dont make the same roo kie error.If you get ghosted, its not about youKeep in mind if the folks you mentor completely ghost on you after you made time to give them advice thats not about you, boo. Thats on themOn next weeks anfhrer tip podcast, well turn the tables on this question and answer another listener career conundrum about how to slay the follow-up game when youre the one asking to pick someones brain over coffee, so stay tunedThis article originally appeared on BossedUp.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people